...at point guard: The Founder, The Producer, Ari Gold... Brady..."The Truth"...Raaaaaaatchfoooorrrrrrd!!!Performance Enhanced Blogging (PEB) is his vision. He is truly the man with the plan. It is his hope to someday break the first ever steroid scandal in the Namibian cricket league.
Sporting Background: The Truth was at some point a pretty good soccer player, but his hopes for making the bigs (He grew up idolizing the great dynasty Chicago Fire, founded 1999) were cut short in a tragic single golf cart accident that left him with three gnarly pins in his foot. Still, even while gimped, he is the most athletic of the group.
Favorite Athlete: Tiger Woods is held dear, but no one can take the place of Barry Bonds. The Truth has devoted a great chunk of his life to clearing Barry's name. A fact many know, but few can figure out...
..And at free safety: The Mouth, The Linguist, Prime Time...Barrett "Ball Hawk" Parteeeeeeee!!Ball Hawk is the on again, off again contributor of the group. Think Hunter S. Thompson without the drugs and the inability to make entire sentences. Ball Hawk does not believe in research or statistics or facts. What he says comes straight from the heart...or brain...or whatever. His words may not often makes sense, but at times he will create a sort of dyslexic poetry, a style yet unmatched.
Sporting Background: Ball Hawk has a degree in golf. If you find this funny/odd/awesome/unbelievable...then you are correct (??). Most people would say (as well as himself) that his best sport is drinking. Golf comes in second, but only because he can't stay away from sport number one long enough to finish 18 holes.
Favorite Athlete: There are so many and they change so constantly (normally whoever is hot, or winning). But Ed Reed stands above them all. Ball Hawk gets his name for his ability to shine in the spotlight. He likes winning, but he likes it to be noticed that he is winning even more...
...and your starting pitcher: The Talent, The Gentleman, The Dad...Maaaatttt Baaaauuummmmm!!!Baum is the consistent force of the group. He treats the blog like work, he goes in, punches his ticket, does his work and heads home at the end of the day. His hard work often makes him the brunt of many punchlines (that or his love of the Cleveland Browns, which may or may not but the brunt of many punchlines themselves).
Sporting Background: One might say Baum has a well rounded sporting history. Don't listen to them. This only means that he can play many sports poorly, but none well. Odds are if he were going to beat you at something, it would be tennis, but nobody plays tennis anyways. He is actually pretty athletic (maybe?) but hasn't been in shape since the Bush administration...The first one, that is.
Favorite Athlete: It is often joked that Baum's favorite is Bernie Kosar (but this is mostly just a slow white guy joke). His man is Greg Maddux...probably because Baum likes to think that someone who is looks to be in similar shape to him could actually be good at real sports.
And that is your starting five...err..nine...or three!
They may not be All-Stars by themselves...but together they hope to be something more.
Now lets plaaaaaaaaayyyyy bbaaaaaaaalllll!!!
I am not sure who selected the pictures for each of you but well done... I can't think so a better picture for any of yall... well maybe barrett with a beer but I guess the fat dip in his mouth will do...
ReplyDelete