A baseball lover's lament.

Dialogue from Tony Scott's film, the fan:
Gil Renard: Don't get greedy, son. Don't get greedy. What we need now is a sacrifice. A winning team has to know how to manufacture runs. Coop taught me that. He used to say the most beautiful play in the game is a sacrifice fly, and you know why?
Richie Renard: 'Cause you give yourself up for the team?
Gil Renard: And it doesn't even count against your average. That's why baseball's better than life - it's fair.

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world. Football is the most widely watched sport in the nation. Driving down any American street, you will find nearly each and every driveway equipped with a basketball goal of some kind. Each weekend hundreds of thousands of fans flock to the the NASCAR race, whether it be in North Carolina, California or Delaware.

But no sport better embodies the history (and present) of this country better than baseball. Baseball has developed along with the country. Football and basketball didn't gain notoriety until pretty much after America had established itself as the true world power in the forties and fifties. Baseball's rise to popularity began during Reconstruction in the wake of the Civil War. Since then, it has changed with the times and reflected the state of American society.

Shoeless Joe and the White Sox scandal of 1919 came as the country was propelled into the capitalistic prosperity of the 1920s. During WWII, baseball went on a hiatus as the players, along with the rest of the country, refocused their efforts on war. And then, most recently, as all of the nation (and the world) deals with the issues of steroids and PEDs in sports, baseball is at the forefront.
Whereas most sports are representative of a story: an epic give and take that contains an introduction, a rising action, a climax and a resolution, baseball is more of a poem. Each pitch, each play, each inning has it's own separate and significant meaning. Don't believe me? Read this.

Football fanatics will say it is the strategy and war-like mentality of football that makes it the most popular sport in America. Now, a football game is definitely deep in strategy and makes for a very compelling battle, no sport mirrors the ebb and flow of war like baseball. Baseball is a 162-game season. That is a war consisting of 162 battles. A team will not win them all. Actually, they will undoubtedly lose many of them. Some will be one sided, some will not. Some will cost key players due to injuries. Sometimes players must sit in order to survive to fight another day. Managers are much more like Generals than their football counterparts. There aren't specific plays, just nine players that must be counted on to know their part and where to be when the ball is play. There is no speaker in the pitchers hat, only cryptic hand signals that can advise the soldiers on the field.
For the past ten years it has seemed to many that baseball has sunk to a new low. A new, dark time has emerged for the sport. Every few days a new star is found to have taken steroids or HGH. Let's not beat around the bush here, these players are cheaters. Many (maybe even most) have done so, but that doesn't make it right. All baseball fans out there only can hope that years from now things will be straight again and we can look back on this time and be glad that the game emerged better and more pure.

This will NEVER happen again... had to post it!

Wow, this is amazing.... not to mention the guy won a BMW for this.





** Side note... why do people video tape their TV? Kind of creepy if you ask me...

What Will We Talk About in the Summer of 2010? Favre Remains Retired.

Thanks Favre, now we all have nothing to look forward to next summer since you (finally) decided to remain retired.

In case you missed it.... FAVRE HAS DECIDED TO REMAIN RETIRED, at least we think so. After months and months of self indulgence, Favre has informed the Vikings' head coach Brad Childress that he has decided against a return to the NFL. Number four claims that this was one of the hardest decisions of his life. Surprisingly enough, it turns out the throwing shoulder is not the likely suspect to blame in the *shocking* decision. He blames it on the fact that he's, old, sore, banged up from sacks and well, just not that good anymore.

Now what do we do? Is this really the end of the Brett Favre that we all grew to know and love/hate? What happens next summer when teams realize that their quarterback is worse than Charles Barkely playing golf. Does Brett Favre spark our curiosities one more time, for ole times sake?! I sure hope he............. DOES NOT. It's time to move on guys. I think most of us can agree that we loved Brett when he was the famous gunslinger not afraid to make the tough pass even if it got picked off. How could you not love a guy who is in Levi's commercials and hops off of his tractor is Hattisburg, MS just to tell people he doesn't know if he's going to play again? Oh, and he's got one gorgeous wife! In the end, Brett will go down as arguably the greatest QB to play the game but please, please, no more drama. DON'T COME BACK.

He can't come back at this point right? The Vikings have to do some serious damage control right? However, this bit of information should come as no surprise... Favre's agent left a tiny crack open in the door saying that Brett could consider a comeback if midseason someone's quarterback gets hurt, or arrested for dogfighting, or gets banned for steroids, or decides to go to Africa to smoke pot for a while, or has anxiety attacks that keep him off the field, or they just suck. So for now, Favre is done. FINALLY.

Right?!?!

NOTICE TO NFL TEAMS: SIGN MICHAEL VICK, NOW!!!

Controversy creates cash. The biggest risk in life is not taking one (that one is for you Baum).

Ok so maybe the previous statements were full of cliches, but the point being is that NFL GM's should wake up and take a chance on the quarterback formally known as Ron Mexico. Now, I am not going to sit here and try to convince you that Michael Vick is a good human being or that he has honestly turned his life around after his 23 (ish) months in federal confinement. What I am going to try to do is explain from a football standpoint why someone NEEDS to take a risk and sign him to a year long contract, in the NFL.

Let's face it people, Michael Vick is arguably the most athletic human being alive. Yes, I know he was in prison and wasn't able to workout like he would if was in an NFL training camp somewhere but c'mon, that kind of athletic ability doesn't just disappear. Give him a contract, put him through training camp, let him continue to workout with a high profile trainer Tom Shaw, give him a fews weeks into the season to get back into game shape and you've got yourself one hell of a talented player. I think we all can agree that there are numerous teams out there in dire need of a talented athlete that averages 7.4 yards a carry for his career. The wildcat formation is spreading as fast as the swine flu in the NFL and the ability to add a guy like Michael Vick into a formation like that could be a game changer for many teams.

Let's not completely rule out the idea that this guy could play quarterback again as well, somewhere. In the NFL, the talent of quarterbacks is very top heavy. Many teams have average at best QBs. Vick is just that, an average quarterback. The biggest difference, Michael Vick has superhuman abilities (man I love watching those videos). In 2006, he did average 12.1 yards per completion, above the league average.

At the end of the day, I just think the potential reward of a guy as talented as Michael Vick is worth the risk to me. A team like the St. Louis Rams could use the boost, not only in talent, but in terms of excitement as well. As for the whole PETA thing, they will have to call off the dogs eventually and just let the man show the world that he can still fight, I mean play(as Ballhawk would say, that is a pun on words).

If all else fails, I'll being the first one to order a UFL Orlando hat as soon as he signs his contract.. woof woof!!

--The Truth

Can't think of any better way to celebrate being out of jail...

Than going to a strip club with A.I. C'mon! Yes!

Ok, so the lawyers are saying it isn't true. That Iverson and Vick didn't hit up the strip club together a couple nights ago in Virginia Beach. It probably is just a rumor, but if it were true it would probably be one of the sadder and more enlightening nights in sports in the past 15 years.

You have former number one picks from both the NBA and the NFL. Both players changed their respective games as soon as they entered the league. A.I. crossed up Jordan. Mike Vick beat Brett Favre and the Packers in Lambeau.

Now they are (allegedly) sitting together, calmly, cooly taking in and basking in the wide array of beautiful naked women that Virginia has to offer. The interesting thing here is that, they could have been doing this six or seven years ago and it would have seemed normal, almost perfect.

Now it is sad. Iverson continues to try to hang on to his career (he can still score 20 by putting up 40 shots a night). And Vick is hoping to revive his.

It is Vick that will receive all the attention for his (alleged) rendezvous at the club. Just out of jail for electrcuting dogs, awaiting a meeting with commissioner Roger Goodell to determine his fate, many people will point to a visit to a strip club as a sign that he shows no remorse and has not changed.

Last time I killed a dog in a strip club...the owner did not care for it very much. Here, the whole time I thought the two sort of went hand-in-hand. Look, Vick could have scored some crack...raped a chick...got a hooker...killed something else...etc etc etc, but he didn't. He did something (allegedly) completley legal instead. I'd say he has taken a step in the right direction.

Now it seems though that none of this ever happened. That the DJ at the club is a liar/idiot/both. But this is just such a good and easy rumor. No one, upon first hearing that Vick and Iverson went to a strip club they day Vick got released from house arrest went, "no way!?" or "that can't be true!?" because it is totally reasonable to think that two former number one picks would spend their Tuesday night at a strip club in Virginia Beach. I guess everybody gets bored during baseball season.

Introducing...Your starting lineup!!!

...for Performance Enhanced Blogging, coming live from The Warehouse high atop Highland Square!



...at point guard: The Founder, The Producer, Ari Gold... Brady..."The Truth"...Raaaaaaatchfoooorrrrrrd!!!
Performance Enhanced Blogging (PEB) is his vision. He is truly the man with the plan. It is his hope to someday break the first ever steroid scandal in the Namibian cricket league.

Sporting Background: The Truth was at some point a pretty good soccer player, but his hopes for making the bigs (He grew up idolizing the great dynasty Chicago Fire, founded 1999) were cut short in a tragic single golf cart accident that left him with three gnarly pins in his foot. Still, even while gimped, he is the most athletic of the group.

Favorite Athlete: Tiger Woods is held dear, but no one can take the place of Barry Bonds. The Truth has devoted a great chunk of his life to clearing Barry's name. A fact many know, but few can figure out...


..And at free safety: The Mouth, The Linguist, Prime Time...Barrett "Ball Hawk" Parteeeeeeee!!
Ball Hawk is the on again, off again contributor of the group. Think Hunter S. Thompson without the drugs and the inability to make entire sentences. Ball Hawk does not believe in research or statistics or facts. What he says comes straight from the heart...or brain...or whatever. His words may not often makes sense, but at times he will create a sort of dyslexic poetry, a style yet unmatched.

Sporting Background: Ball Hawk has a degree in golf. If you find this funny/odd/awesome/unbelievable...then you are correct (??). Most people would say (as well as himself) that his best sport is drinking. Golf comes in second, but only because he can't stay away from sport number one long enough to finish 18 holes.

Favorite Athlete: There are so many and they change so constantly (normally whoever is hot, or winning). But Ed Reed stands above them all. Ball Hawk gets his name for his ability to shine in the spotlight. He likes winning, but he likes it to be noticed that he is winning even more...

...and your starting pitcher: The Talent, The Gentleman, The Dad...Maaaatttt Baaaauuummmmm!!!

Baum is the consistent force of the group. He treats the blog like work, he goes in, punches his ticket, does his work and heads home at the end of the day. His hard work often makes him the brunt of many punchlines (that or his love of the Cleveland Browns, which may or may not but the brunt of many punchlines themselves).

Sporting Background: One might say Baum has a well rounded sporting history. Don't listen to them. This only means that he can play many sports poorly, but none well. Odds are if he were going to beat you at something, it would be tennis, but nobody plays tennis anyways. He is actually pretty athletic (maybe?) but hasn't been in shape since the Bush administration...The first one, that is.

Favorite Athlete: It is often joked that Baum's favorite is Bernie Kosar (but this is mostly just a slow white guy joke). His man is Greg Maddux...probably because Baum likes to think that someone who is looks to be in similar shape to him could actually be good at real sports.


And that is your starting five...err..nine...or three!
They may not be All-Stars by themselves...but together they hope to be something more.

Now lets plaaaaaaaaayyyyy bbaaaaaaaalllll!!!

If Erin Andrews weren't hot, nobody would care about her.

Posted by Baum.

Maggie Hendricks of Yahoo! Sports published a blog yesterday, lamenting the end of freedom for abnormally hot female reporters everywhere. She brings up some of the bigger travesties that female sideline reporters have had to endure, such as getting hit on by a hall of fame quarterback or by a young multi-millionare who owns his own MMA league. Oh the atrocities that have befallen society. What endurance it must take for a woman to get all dressed up and go interview the most attractive athletes in the world at the biggest sporting events in the world (and getting paid quite handsomely for it).

Yes, the heckling/oogling/trespassing/

gossiping is unfortunate. But is anyone naive enough to think that Erin Andrews--or Suzy Kolber, etc--got their jobs based solely on journalistic ability (even Maggie Hendricks)?? It is a vicious double standard that can be detrimental to women, but also very detrimental to capable and qualified men. Erin Andrews' looks clearly had to have some sort of impact on her rise through an industry that is nearly entirely male-driven, but she is going to be sensitive to the fact that people find her attractive.

Clearly filming someone changing is inappropriate and uncalled for. But is it really that surprising? Can you expect to be a sex symbol not have people try to look at you naked? And let's make no qualms about it, Erin Andrews is a sex symbol. She is on screen in front of millions of male viewers every time she goes to work and the reason is because those millions of men enjoy looking at her (and probably imagining her naked). If she can't handle the pressure and exposure she can step down, just like professional athletes.

As for what on-screen female reporters wear. The scrutiny is coming from females most of the time. It is preposterous to imply that the nitpicking of what female reporters wear is in some way sexist. Most guys watching a game do not care what the hot sideline reporters are wearing (especially if it is nothing, clearly).

Maybe a cut back on the amount of screen time or jobs for attractive female sidelines reporters will happen. And if it did, it would probably be a good thing. No more distraction for players and coaches (yes, that is why they are there and attractive, so they can distract the players to get an inside scoop). No more useless immediate half-time or post-game sweaty interviews that have never yielded anything remotely resembling a good quote (save KG screaming that he was "CERTIFIABLE!" after the Celtics won the NBA Championship, but what does that mean anyways?). And most importantly no slow-news-day-midsummer useless drama because somebody saw somebody elses but. Once football starts no one watching Indiana vs. Penn State at noon in Happy Valley will give a rat's ass that somebody saw Erin Andrews blurry and naked through a peephole. All they will be thinking about is that they want to see her clear and naked on TV.

Time to bend over, and inject.

The cycle starts now. Coming to you live and uncut from The Warehouse, in Atlanta, GA.

July 20th is normally not an important day in the sports world. Football season is a month and half away, baseball is just getting into the second half, the Tour de France is on an off day (yeah, I didn't know they stopped riding, either), Tiger didn't make the cut at The Open and NASCAR is gearing up for The Chase for the Cup, which might be the most unexciting playoff in sports (unless of course, you have an advanced enough degree to understand the rankings of PGA's FedEx Cup).

Or is it we are just still hungover from the summer of 2008? Lakers vs. Celtics? Phelps vs. the world?

We have traded the U.S. Women's Gymnastics Team vs. five Chinese boy scouts half their age for Tom Watson nearly defeating 80 golfers half his age.

But things are looking up. Manny is back from his 50-game Summer vacation to save the Dodgers from first place, and........hold on, this has just been handed to me.......Michael Vick is finally free!!! It appears the UFL may have a new face of the league. More on this later.

But most importantly, July 20 means the launch of a new forum for discussing sports--the truest form of entertainment and enjoyment in life--and the news and personalities that surround it. Performance Enhanced Blogging is where everyday sports fans can present any and every angle to every sports story (or nonstory) big and small. This site isn't for people who say, "It's just a game," or, "What does it matter what the Seahawks second string quarterback said to a Mexican-American immigrant at the gas station last night?" This site is for those that know sports matters.

Sports are what makes us happy...and sad...and angry...and moved...and turned on (see U.S. Women's Gymnastics team). Sports provide us the entire range of emotions possible. We do care. We are interested. We think--hold it, we know--sports matter. (And no, there will be no "now more than ever comment." We do not care about North Korea or Afghanistan or Kosovo or Global Warming or the Stock Market--though we will make completely uneducated and unneccesary comments about all of these and more undoubtedly, at some point.)

Our goal is to cultivate a place full of differing viewpoints. All are welcome. Be funny. Don't be stupid. We are douche bags, so don't think we can't spot them. Obviously insenstivity and bigotry are not accepted (unless it is really, really funny). So have fun, enjoy and remember...


...if you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.






Oh, and Cleveland Cavalier Shaquille O'Neal will host Monday Night Raw next week. STAY TUNED***