Can't think of any better way to celebrate being out of jail...

Than going to a strip club with A.I. C'mon! Yes!

Ok, so the lawyers are saying it isn't true. That Iverson and Vick didn't hit up the strip club together a couple nights ago in Virginia Beach. It probably is just a rumor, but if it were true it would probably be one of the sadder and more enlightening nights in sports in the past 15 years.

You have former number one picks from both the NBA and the NFL. Both players changed their respective games as soon as they entered the league. A.I. crossed up Jordan. Mike Vick beat Brett Favre and the Packers in Lambeau.

Now they are (allegedly) sitting together, calmly, cooly taking in and basking in the wide array of beautiful naked women that Virginia has to offer. The interesting thing here is that, they could have been doing this six or seven years ago and it would have seemed normal, almost perfect.

Now it is sad. Iverson continues to try to hang on to his career (he can still score 20 by putting up 40 shots a night). And Vick is hoping to revive his.

It is Vick that will receive all the attention for his (alleged) rendezvous at the club. Just out of jail for electrcuting dogs, awaiting a meeting with commissioner Roger Goodell to determine his fate, many people will point to a visit to a strip club as a sign that he shows no remorse and has not changed.

Last time I killed a dog in a strip club...the owner did not care for it very much. Here, the whole time I thought the two sort of went hand-in-hand. Look, Vick could have scored some crack...raped a chick...got a hooker...killed something else...etc etc etc, but he didn't. He did something (allegedly) completley legal instead. I'd say he has taken a step in the right direction.

Now it seems though that none of this ever happened. That the DJ at the club is a liar/idiot/both. But this is just such a good and easy rumor. No one, upon first hearing that Vick and Iverson went to a strip club they day Vick got released from house arrest went, "no way!?" or "that can't be true!?" because it is totally reasonable to think that two former number one picks would spend their Tuesday night at a strip club in Virginia Beach. I guess everybody gets bored during baseball season.

Introducing...Your starting lineup!!!

...for Performance Enhanced Blogging, coming live from The Warehouse high atop Highland Square!



...at point guard: The Founder, The Producer, Ari Gold... Brady..."The Truth"...Raaaaaaatchfoooorrrrrrd!!!
Performance Enhanced Blogging (PEB) is his vision. He is truly the man with the plan. It is his hope to someday break the first ever steroid scandal in the Namibian cricket league.

Sporting Background: The Truth was at some point a pretty good soccer player, but his hopes for making the bigs (He grew up idolizing the great dynasty Chicago Fire, founded 1999) were cut short in a tragic single golf cart accident that left him with three gnarly pins in his foot. Still, even while gimped, he is the most athletic of the group.

Favorite Athlete: Tiger Woods is held dear, but no one can take the place of Barry Bonds. The Truth has devoted a great chunk of his life to clearing Barry's name. A fact many know, but few can figure out...


..And at free safety: The Mouth, The Linguist, Prime Time...Barrett "Ball Hawk" Parteeeeeeee!!
Ball Hawk is the on again, off again contributor of the group. Think Hunter S. Thompson without the drugs and the inability to make entire sentences. Ball Hawk does not believe in research or statistics or facts. What he says comes straight from the heart...or brain...or whatever. His words may not often makes sense, but at times he will create a sort of dyslexic poetry, a style yet unmatched.

Sporting Background: Ball Hawk has a degree in golf. If you find this funny/odd/awesome/unbelievable...then you are correct (??). Most people would say (as well as himself) that his best sport is drinking. Golf comes in second, but only because he can't stay away from sport number one long enough to finish 18 holes.

Favorite Athlete: There are so many and they change so constantly (normally whoever is hot, or winning). But Ed Reed stands above them all. Ball Hawk gets his name for his ability to shine in the spotlight. He likes winning, but he likes it to be noticed that he is winning even more...

...and your starting pitcher: The Talent, The Gentleman, The Dad...Maaaatttt Baaaauuummmmm!!!

Baum is the consistent force of the group. He treats the blog like work, he goes in, punches his ticket, does his work and heads home at the end of the day. His hard work often makes him the brunt of many punchlines (that or his love of the Cleveland Browns, which may or may not but the brunt of many punchlines themselves).

Sporting Background: One might say Baum has a well rounded sporting history. Don't listen to them. This only means that he can play many sports poorly, but none well. Odds are if he were going to beat you at something, it would be tennis, but nobody plays tennis anyways. He is actually pretty athletic (maybe?) but hasn't been in shape since the Bush administration...The first one, that is.

Favorite Athlete: It is often joked that Baum's favorite is Bernie Kosar (but this is mostly just a slow white guy joke). His man is Greg Maddux...probably because Baum likes to think that someone who is looks to be in similar shape to him could actually be good at real sports.


And that is your starting five...err..nine...or three!
They may not be All-Stars by themselves...but together they hope to be something more.

Now lets plaaaaaaaaayyyyy bbaaaaaaaalllll!!!